The value of fear

"What gives value to travel is fear. It is the fact that, at a certain moment, when we are so far from our country...we are seized by a vague fear, and an instinctive desire to go back to the protection of old habits," said Albert Camus in his Notebooks.

If this is true, then there must be great value, because I'm plenty fearful. I'm not getting any younger, as my birthday the other day so rudely reminded me. I'm going to a place which, while one of the most beautiful in the world, is completely foreign to me. Yes, I've been there once, but as a tourist in the capable hands of an English-speaking guide. This time, no one is being compensated to make me comfortable.

Camus continues, "This is the most obvious beneft of travel. At that moment, we are feverish but also porous, so that the slightest touch makes us quiver to the depths of our being. We come across a cascade of light, and there is eternity. This is why we should not say that we travel for pleasure. There is no pleasure in traveling, and I look upon it more as an occasion for spiritual testing."

Absorbing oneself in a completely foreign culture must surely challenge one's assumptions about humanity, about the universe, about G-d and about oneself. It's a very scary prospect. What has brought me to the point of doing this?